Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
