that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
