Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
