I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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