Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize