Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
