She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
