Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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