He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
