Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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