i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
