Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
