i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
