just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
