Cold hands, warm shart.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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