no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
