at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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