i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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