Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
false alarm. still invincible.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
