sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
