The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
