She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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