I'm gonna have a badass scar
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
