i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize