woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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