new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
