I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
