i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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