That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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