whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
