just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
my liver is dry heaving
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
