So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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