So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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