How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
