Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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