You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize