im gay
i know
yea but for you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we're making bets on your personal life
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
