Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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