Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
