My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
