Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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