Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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