what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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