Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
