I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize