I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
