He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
