i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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