Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize