I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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