I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize