Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
