Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Holy sore nipples Batman
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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