I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
