What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
