I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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