It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
