woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have feelings that need drinking.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
