Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
