yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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