I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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