So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize