you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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