Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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