no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
