i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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