I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
