Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
