its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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