I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
