dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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