He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
